


Bros’ Nights In

by 002peach



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, not crazy amounts but. Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-06
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2019-01-09 17:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12280929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/002peach/pseuds/002peach
Summary: The various times Soul, Black Star, and Kid hang out and Soul tries not to get a stomach ulcer from it.





	1. Game Night

8:13pm, Soul knockes on Black Star’s door. A couple quick bangs and he stands back to let it violently slam open. 

“Sup.”

“Sup. Invited Kid over to play some games with us.” 

“Oh God..” Soul sucks in a breath, already turning to leave. 

“Hey, be cool! He’s the homie now.”

“I don’t wanna ever have to hear that word come out your mouth again, especially in connection to Kid.”

“Be a bro. Stop being lame. I got Cool Ranch just for you.”

Soul pauses, considering his options. Extended time spent with two walking manifestations of migraines or Cool Ranch chips. He decides to step inside.

8:30pm on the dot, not one second spared, one firm knock on the door. “Stand back!” Soul shouts, not taking his eyes off the TV screen. By the sound of a shocked and indignant shout, it was too late. “Another one bites the dust.”

9:15pm, Kid finally decides on a design for his car, black with four white stripes, two on each side, and a perfect recreation of Lord Death’s face on the front of it, meticulously planned out so each eye hole laid perfectly along the curve of the car’s hood, every pixel painstakingly smoothed over to pointless beauty and perfection. Soul is suppressing a pressure headache.

9:45pm, Kid finishes his first lap around the track. He insisted on driving right on the line dividing the lanes, needing to start over every time Black Star slammed his big ass jeep into him, sending them both flying. 

“That’s not even how you drive in real life.” Soul stopped breathing ten minutes ago.

10:03pm, Black Star smashes a can of Monster against his forehead for no discernible reason. “You pussies ready to pop a cap in some asses?” 

10:20pm, Kid refuses to play Grand Theft Auto any longer. “This is outrageously misogynistic.” 

10:34pm, Black Star is introduced to the very basics of feminist theory. Kid’s got a book he might lend him. Soul’s out of Cool Ranch now, but watching the stages of Black Star attempting to wrap his head around gender imbalances in media almost makes up for it. It’s like watching a puppy learn about terminal diseases or something.

11:00pm, turns out Kid is really good at Tetris. Soul is so beyond amused watching Black Star fumble with fitting an L shape into absolutely fucking nothing while Kid creates literal art in motion, destroying blocks with all the tragic beauty of a storm sweeping an abandoned town away. The controller is thrown at 11:02pm, officially signaling the end to video game night. 

1:10am, Soul’s ready to head out after having an admittedly engaging and fun talk with the two. Black Star sends them both home with bone crushing slaps on the back and four packs of Hawaiian Punch he’s apparently been hoarding since who knows when.

As they reach the end of the sidewalk, Soul turns to look at Kid before they part ways.

“You coming next Saturday?”

Kid smiles. “I’d be delighted.”


	2. Movie Night

At 6:30pm, Soul crossed his fingers, hoping Kid was coming first. Death smiled upon him with a firm and polite knock. 

“‘Evening, Soul.” 

“What’s up. You know if Black Star’s on his way yet? He didn’t answer my text.” 

“Last I heard, he was very close.“ 

“Ok cool, I gotta let him know that-“

“WHAT THE FUCK IS UP-“ 

Black Star’s grand entrance was interrupted with a swift throw pillow to the face.

“Ok look, I’m gonna need you to shut the fuck up ‘cause Maka’s trying to sleep and-“

“WHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPED-“ 

“BLACK STAR.”

“whiiiiiiiiiiiiipped.”

“Is Maka alright? It’s very early.”

Soul nodded. “She’s sick. She said she’s just gotta sleep it off. She doesn’t mind if you guys are here but you gotta keep quiet-“

“It’s your house too bro, you just gonna let your wife-mom step on your balls even in your own house?”

“That’s disgusting, first of all, second, it’s called not being a shitty person, you unsocialized buffoon.” 

“Heeeey,” a faint voice came from down the hallway. 

“Sorry!” Soul shouted back. “Don’t be a dick, man.”

“Alright, alright. Your God officially extends his admittance of slightly less than fantastic than his usual awesome-tastical behavior-“ 

“Yeah yeah, apology accepted. What do you guys wanna drink?”

“Could I have a glass of water, perhaps?” Soul nodded and Kid smiled, pulling a small ruler out of the breast pocket of his button up shirt and handing it to him. “Thank you. 40 centimeters please.”

Hanging out with Black Star and Kid anywhere outside his home was an exercise in masochistic pleasure. Actually in his home was beyond torture.

—

They were all gathered around the TV now, Black Star and Kid lounging on the couch while Soul rummages through a bin of DVDs.

“We got Jurassic Park, Harry Potter, Mission Impossible-“

“Laaaaame. All lame. Pull out the good shit, dawg.”

“Call me that again and your ass is out of here. What are you guys in the mood for?”

“May I suggest Melancholia?”

“....not exactly a party movie, Kid.”

“I bet you’d wanna watch some BBC doc on paint drying or some shit, huh Kid?” 

Kid scoffed at this. “I know you two take me to be some stuffy, uptight, bourgeois elite. But I can appreciate a bit of mindless fun. I love The Fast and Furious franchise. Some of the shots are composed quite beautifully.”

“That shit’s sick. But I feel you. People think all I watch is shitty action movies or tit flicks but I’ve got standards too! You can’t catch me at any shitty Transformers movie. I watched the Shawshank Redemption with Tsubaki like two days ago, that movie is awesome. You got the Shawshank Redemption, Soul?”

“Again, not exactly a party movie either.”

“How about Barry Lyndon?”

“Didn’t you just say you liked fun movies?”

“Kid, you ever watch Planet of the Apes? That ending will fuck you up. Turns out-“

Soul slammed a disc into his DVD player. “We’re watching Lord of the Rings.” 

“THOSE MOVIES SUCK.”

“They do NOT.”

“THEY DO TOO!!”

“A bit long for my tastes, but I’m willing to settle.”

“BARRY LYNDON’S OVER THREE HOURS LONG TOO.” Kid shrugged in response. 

“SOUL!”

“SORRY!”

“MAKA, TELL SOUL TO STOP BEING A NERD BITCH AND GET BETTER TASTES IN MOVIES.” 

“BLACK STAR, SHUT UP AND STOP SAYING BITCH IN MY HOUSE.”

“MY BAD.”

Soul could’ve smashed his TV right then and there, but he settled for pointedly turning it off instead. 

“OK NO MOVIES AT ALL. ARE YOU GUYS HAPPY NOW.”

“Not particularly.” Kid pouted.

“Wait.” Black Star said suddenly, pointing at a DVD in the bin. “You guys down to watch Finding Nemo.”

“...Kinda?”

And thus, Finding Nemo was watched, and friendships and Soul’s sanity were left relatively intact for another day (or until their next hang out session, at least.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one’s just straight up crack i’m sorry
> 
> also fun fact kid wanted to watch melancholia cause i was watching melancholia

**Author's Note:**

> hello i’ve been looking to get back into writing and i’ve gotten WAY back into soul eater so here we are now 
> 
> i don’t know what it is about these three that’s so fun to write. i’ve fallen and I can’t get up


End file.
